Dancing with Pink Flamingos!

Dancing with Pink Flamingos!

 

 

 

Spinning around in my little ballerina skirt with pink tights made me keenly aware of my body’s graceful movements and the confidence I once possessed as a dancer. Dance develops a certain poise that can only be won through rigorous workouts at the dance bar and the instructor sweetly reminding you to keep your head out of your chest and buttocks squeezed firmly into your “tights!”

I took great care in strapping on my ballet shoes strap-by-strap and making sure to tighten every loose tie. “Tighten the bows” I gleefully said-“tighten the bows!” I didn’t want to relive a memory I had in the Nutcracker and trip face first into a group of mice all because I didn’t learn how to tie a bow in kindergarten! Let’s put it this way; I was petrified of getting onto that dance floor again however my feet came alive beneath me as I pranced out onto the floor.

Tugging my skirt to ensure that it was completely covering my derriere, the classical music echoed from the sound system. “BAR GIRLS, BAR,” said the impatient instructor. Plie, rond de jambe, tendu, first position, second position, tendu, plie… Phew! Glad I ate my wheaties this morning! With my arms firmly planted in second position, I held onto the bar for dear life. Out of the corner of my sweat filled eyes, I noticed the instructor staring at me like I had a piece of spinach in my teeth. Pleading with God was my best bet so I prayed feverishly that she wouldn’t come over and tell me ” your arms look like a flamingo”….Plie, tendu, plie, OUCH! (whoops, forgot I had that muscle)…..Straighten up girls, chin up, shoulders back, neck tall. Ok, so remember that flamingo, I was sure if I didn’t look like one before, I sure as heck looked like one now! POINTE YOUR TOES, BUTTS GIRLS BUTTS!! Now I have to admit, by this point in time I had to release a coy chuckle because all I kept hearing was BUTTS, BUTTS, BUTTS! Suck in those butts!!

Back to the flamingo- The contortions I was placing my little body into were a far cry from the moves I could do as a young girl. I found myself looking into the mirror and wishing my leg could reach the sky (like it used to) and my butt would remain neatly tucked into my tights… However, I realize that everything in life is a process. I worked hard as a young girl to attain the flexibility and agility I once had and it was achieved over TIME. Similar to this walk we call life; each step requires movement and forward transit. Without it, we are standing still, complacent, and unchanged.

Breathing heavy as I stared at the wooden floor beneath me, I firmly grasped the bar between my fingertips and attempted the impossible. Inch-by-inch, I pushed my toes up to pointe and fully reached my tippy toes!! I DID IT, I DID IT!!! After years of wondering if I still had it in me, I mustered up enough courage to stand up on my toes (without crying, I might add).. A newfound confidence enveloped me as I squared my hips and held onto the bar. With my head held high, I turned to the mirror to see my form. NOT bad, I thought.. Slowly lowering my body to the ground, I noticed my right toe throbbing with pain… Ok, so maybe I should have given it a bit more time however it subsided as I walked to the middle of the dance floor.

The instructor developed a sheepish grin and announced that tonight there was NO choreography planned for floor work. GULP! I knew what was coming next; she wanted us to spend a whole minute all-by-our-lonesome and dance interpretively to the music. BIG GULP (like bigger than the circle K one)… Dear Jesus-help me father! First night back and I am cast out of my comfort zone into the middle of the floor “interpreting” some Tchaikovsky piece… Riiiiiggghhhttt… and all I could picture was that dang Flamingo!! I don’t think it helped that I had pink tights on and pink leg warmers scrunched up around my thighs! HAHA, in all seriousness, God has been PUSHING me straight out of my comfort zone lately and I’ll have to admit I sometimes want to run for the nearest door. I am honestly beginning to think God was smiling as he put those images of dancing pink flamingos into my head. =) chuckle…chuckle. AHEM

Standing there “thinking-way-to-much” about what to do next I got PUSHED onto center stage! PUSHED,(ha ha God-ha ha) Taking a deep breath, images flashed into my mind like a photograph. I was taken back to my first dance recital; I was four but could still remember the smell of the stage, the bright neon lights overhead, and the crowd cheering our every awkward-four-year-old move. Memories came flooding back of competitions and the time I stood on pointe for the very first time. Closing my eyes, I pointed my toes and spun around the room and allowed myself to move with the sound of every chord-every note-and every soft melody. Slowly, I opened my eyes to take in the world around me. Something had changed; although it wasn’t my peripheral surroundings but a deep paradigm shift occuring in the recesses of my heart and mind. I felt confident, beautiful, and secure standing there in my pink ballet shoes, tight leg warmers, pink tights, and little black skirt.

Playing with the frills on my skirt and smiling like a kid who just robbed a candy store, I reached down and untied my worn out ballet shoes. I sat peering at them for a minute as I slid them off my feet. The worn edges and black discolorations revealed their true age however their beauty was still evident despite their rough appearance. HAHA, God your funny. This was a metaphor for my life wasn’t it? Despite my loose ends and worn-out edges, I am still cherished and beautiful. Just like those “aged” shoes he gladly uses me despite my battle wounds and discolorations left by the stains of life. See friends, these discolorations are my true mark of beauty.

Walking out of the studio and taking one last whiff of the wooden floors, a childish grin came across my face as I looked back into the mirror off in the distance. All these years, and I am finally starting to see my true reflection…